Feather Leaves

I really like how these shellac leaves came out. I think I may brush them with some resin and see how that works out. I like it when tests work out.

My Breast Piece Ever

Just finished the armature for the breastfeeding-warrior piece… that’s its unofficial name for now. Unofficial, people.

Where Everything and Nothing Makes Sense

Went on a little bit of a blogging hiatus… I know my many readers in South Korea and Slovenia were worried...

안녕 and Kako/Kak ste? friends!

This past week I had to deal with going to court with my former nanny. She made me realize that I’m very grateful for the stability in my life. I’m only 25 years old and I’m married, have a beautiful son, and a stable job. It’s safe to say that I live pretty comfortably and I earn that through hard work and determination. This girl I sued... I couldn’t help but feel bad for her when she showed up to court in jeans, a frumpy sweatshirt, and Uggs. In front of the judge, I painstakingly muddled through what is now known as the four month nanny SAGA… and all she had to say in her defense was “Judge, I’m guilty. I’ve been very irresponsible. Will I be on a payment plan?” Yea I wanted to slap her too. We wait for the judge’s ruling in the mail. I hope he saw the carelessness and disrespect we had to deal with. She didn’t even argue that she was broke and couldn’t pay us our money. If I were the judge, I’d be peeved she wasted my time. TO BE CONTINUED….

In the world of fiberglass and shellac, where everything and nothing makes sense, I've made some tests this weekend to try and figure out what I will make my figure out of.

I have this desire to cover everything and anything in shellac and I blame Jaime Bennati for this. Here are some of the samples I've created: 


Leaves from the parking lot



Rope



Bark chips covered in Shellac

 This last sample is this interesting bark that sheds off of the trees outside of my work. It seems as though the sun dries out the bark which causes the bark to curl and fall off the tree. I walked around this weekend and 'harvested' a whole bag of them. Some lady came up to me while I was plucking the bark who thought that I was picking mushrooms. Needless to say she was very disappointed and weirded out when she discovered I was only picking nasty chips of wood. It's free, beautiful material, lady! Don't hate!

Lastly, I attempted to try my hand at fiberglassing… and against my best efforts; I don’t think my sample turned out very good. I had left my sample outside for ventilation purposes and it seems that it had rained that evening which made it so parts of my sample didn’t get a chance to set properly… or… I’m really awful at this. Either way, I probably won’t be fiberglassing my piece. I’m going to look into possibly buying some marble dust that I could mix with my resin and see how that looks. I know you are all disappointed that I had no one available to take a rediculous picture of me in my rediculous protective gear. In time I'm sure I'll get a classy picture.

Eye of the Tigress

I need to do a few more study drawings, but I think I like this so far. I have to think about how exactly I would make the head for the piece. Last night I spoke with http://www.maycwilson.com/ about using fiberglass and resin for my end product. I plan to buy some this weekend to do a small test. I mainly want to buy this stuff so I can rub my face in it and breathe in the fumes, particles and dust. I have this thing for flesh-eating rashes.

Three words: fiberglass fashion show.

Find Your Power Animal

Normally on my figures I simply put a face that looks similar to my own but I am thinking I might put the face of an animal on my ‘cathartic birth’ piece. Reflecting on my experiences as a mother, I’ve been really gravitating towards the idea of maternal instincts. Specifically I’ve been thinking of the primal need to protect offspring in the animal kingdom. It is very powerful feeling knowing that I would give my life to protect my son, just as many mammals do everyday. The instinct to protect mirrors the birthing process. It’s strong and uncontainable… deliberate and with purpose.

I haven’t decided if this imagery would overwhelm the piece all together… but what part about the birthing process did I experience that was not completely and utterly overwhelming?

I’ll have a couple drawings tomorrow to try and hash out the idea. My gut says go for it.

Face Paint and All...

Breastfeeding, for me, was really difficult. I think I was under the impression that the whole process would be very natural and just kind of happen. In a way, it did… but it was a lot of work that I hadn’t expected. Breastfeeding was always portrayed to me as a beautiful and special experience that only a mother can have. Although it was a somewhat special process… I think no one really prepares you for how painful it can be. The breasts that I once knew were now temperamental water balloons that constantly felt over filled and in the way. I couldn’t get comfortable while lying down anymore. I leaked. I clogged. I cried. Breastfeeding is all about timing. If you don’t feed at even increments, your milk supply that is to be used to feed your child could increase unnecessarily, causing you pain, or deplete to a point where you may have to switch to formula. It was all a balancing act that took a few months for me to accept and get used to. Was it worth it? I think so. Was it uncomfortable? Definitely. Would I do it again? We’ll see. (That would entail having another child… hm. Let’s think on that one).

Something that I’ve been thinking about, now that Brody has been transitioning to formula and my milk supply is drying up, is how the breasts are very rarely thought of as a means to feed a baby. 99% of the time, they are seen in a sexual light. How often do you think people see a woman with extreme exposed cleavage and think “wow, I bet her kids are feeding real well off of those…” Yea no… never. Breastfeeding has made me realize that I don’t think I’ve even thought of my breasts as anything more than just… there. Now I see them as my son’s nourishment. I’m not sure I could ever go back to thinking of them as exclusively sexual beings anymore because I’ve literally used them as tools for the last 6 months. Such pain and suffering has come from breastfeeding, but I feel so accomplished that I tried and made it to 6 months.
Breastfeeding warrior… face paint and all… storming the walls with boulders (literal… boulders..)… that’s a site to behold. I’m sure a lot of women actually do feel that way after wading through the pain, lack of sleep, infections… it’s all for our children.

At times I’ve felt that my breast were huge, uncomfortable, weights on my chest that were so full… but at the same time a beautiful means of feeding Brody and almost a physical sign of motherhood. I learned in one of our prenatal birthing class that the breasts never fully develop until you have a child and the milk ducts begin to mature. Even though I am almost done breastfeeding, my breasts will never physically be the same. (Insert a joke about sagging here…).

I made this mockette of a woman with embellished breasts that are heavy, hanging in the way of everything… but beautiful in their own right. The woman stands stoic and noble. She embraces her gift.

Silicon Valley Open Studios 2011

For those of you in the Bay Area, I will be participating in the 25th Annual Silicon Valley Open Studios three weekends this May. Please come and visit me and I'll show you all my work!


May 7th-8th 11am-5pm

May 14th-15th 11am-5pm

May 21st-22nd 11am-5pm



Palo Alto Studios

The cubbie upstairs... :)

4030 Transport Street

Palo Alto, California 94303


http://www.paloaltostudios.com/