Elephant In The Room

In our bedroom hang three pictures from my senior thesis show. I’m proud of what I produced… therefore I hang it in the bedroom. I understand that some people are squeamish about nudity in any form, so that is why they are not in the living room where we entertain.

Today my husband’s dad is coming to visit us and Zachary asked that I take down my pictures. My gut reaction was ‘sure’ simply to please him and ease the situation but then I came to realize how upset that made me feel. I can understand why he would want it taken down because his dad is not someone who might be open to that type of art… but you know what, not everyone is going to be okay with everything I make. I think I’m more upset that some people can’t see what I see when I look at those pieces. It’s when I peaked as an artist in school (not in life I hope)… I earned a degree with these pieces. It frustrates me that I have to hide what I did in school from my in-laws and all guests in our home. (PHOTOS TAKEN BY AISHA KHAN...BACK IN THE DAY).

Please go to the BakerArtistAwards for more of my work. Be sure to check out the videos on the bottom of the page. They are only snips of the larger, longer videos… Most of my videos look like still shots because I stay so still. Only a subtle hint of breathing or involuntary twitches occur. It is almost a form of painful meditation.

When I graduated last year, someone posted this on their blog.

You see, it’s this type of shit that really just pushes me over the edge. The funny part is how I didn’t even see this site for at least a year after my senior show. Who are you to decide what I should and should not be making? Well it’s this sort of heckling that has caused me to move away from the performative aspects of my art. I’m a little indifferent about it. I’d say that I’ve been away for that part of my life for long enough that I can’t really defend myself and what I did anymore. All I know is that I was happy with what I was making at the time and that is important. If it were not for the processes I learned while making my previous pieces and taking in my previous concepts and feedback, I never would be making what I am now.

"I want the viewer to do a lot of work and feel uncomfortable. They should be made to feel responsible for their own view of the world rather than look at an artist's view and be critical of it"-Damien Hirst

I Want to Spend the Rest of My Life Everywhere, with Everyone, One to One, Always, Forever, Now

This Damien Hirst book is an amazing experience to read. I’m really glad I bought it. It is a real inspiration.